Resident Band Required?
Our regional representative for the Far East (Norfolk) recently reported his discovery of a fine dining establishment in Hunstanton that was clearly crying out for the Stompers to become its house band, although it would ideally require a precarious rebranding exercise in which we would morph into The Sunset Café & Takeaway Band ...
We have since been evaluating the logistics of a possible residency here, where the chips are golden, the sunsets spectacular, and the climate to die for (or in). This seaside gem has everything you'd want from a British coastal eatery -battered fish that could rival a Grecian statue in both beauty and sturdiness, and a sunset view that would make Turner himself put down his paintbrush and order a plate of scampi.
Alas, the only thing standing between us and a prestigious residency is a little logistical hiccup -it’s a (roughly) 500-mile round trip from our various homes in the South-West. Yes, that’s about 11 hours of travel time - or, as we like to think of it, one audiobook, three flasks of coffee, multiple comfort breaks, 32 sets of temporary traffic lights, and 783 rounds of “I Spy” before we even start to set up the drum kit.
Picture this - we pull into the Sunset Café (& Takeaway) after five or six long hours on the road, dragging ourselves out of our cars with the enthusiasm of a snail at the end of a marathon. The locals, already comfortably ensconced at their favorite tables, give us a look that says, “Are these lads here for the haddock or the stage?” (Spoiler : It’s both!). Setting up would, of course, be a breeze if not for the sea breeze itself, which, on occasion, has tried to make off with our sheet music like some kind of musical Magpie. And don’t get us started on the local seagulls, who eye our snacks with the predatory intensity of talent scouts at an open mic night.
Yet, despite this logistical Everest (which would challenge even John Coad's analytical spreadsheets) we can’t help but imagine the pure joy of being the Sunset Café (& Takeaway) house band ... playing Sunset Café Stomp, only to be interrupted by the sizzle of a nearby deep fat fryer and an occasional burst of applause - or maybe just someone discovering that their mushy peas are, indeed, at the perfect temperature, or expressing delight over the sauce tartare.
While we revel in the fantasy of trading one sunset for another and serenading Norfolk’s finest with our best numbers, the idea (for the moment) of this band becoming resident here seems as dreamy as it is impractical. For now, we’ll just have to settle for keeping the dream alive from afar. That 500-mile round trip may keep us grounded - literally - but, one day, we’re going to make it to Hunstanton. And when we do, please save us a table by the window. We’ll be the ones wearing seagull-proof band shirts and baseball caps, playing our hearts out for the love of the Norfolk coastline - and a decent portion of chips.